Sunday, October 19, 2008

Need some advice

I've decided the time has come. I can't live like this anymore.

What I'm talking about is my roommate and her boyfriend, who pretty much live together. Mac is 20, Cheese is 21...so they are YOUNG (in my mind, lol!). They "just" started dating in February. Mac and I moved in together in August, and all was fine and well...with the exception of Cheese. Cheese is there ALLLLLLLLL the time. Truthfully. Cheese is at my apartment more than I am! Granted, I work, have a social life, and have been taking babysitting jobs...but at 9:30 am, when Mac is at class and I step out of the shower, I have to keep in mind that Cheese is there. He takes over our apartment, I feel like. He turns the tv up LOUD, even if they walk in the door at midnight. He is there. ALWAYS.

And it bugs me.

I like the guy, as a friend- he is hysterical to be around, and usually a sweet guy, but as a boyfriend to her, he's not the best. They bicker, quite a lot. She gets pissed off at him very easily, but then the next minute they are all lovey dovey. Not the relationship I'd choose for myself (or her!) but I guess that's their choice.

I just need to talk to her...but how? Everytime that I am there and so is she, Cheese is too. I think there needs to be a slowdown in him spending the night (maybe like 1-2 times a week, not SEVEN). And if she leaves for work/babysitting/whatever, he needs to leave too. Sound reasonable??????? Gah...

Seriously though, how do I even begin to bring it up? Write a letter when I'm leaving for the weekend and give her time to process? LOL... I mean, the guy doesn't pay rent, but takes showers, eats our food, doesn't clean up, uses electricity...

How do people deal with this all the time? It's so stressful, feeling like I'm back at the P's trying to hide out in my room. I guess I was very blessed with my old roommate Shayna- never had to deal with this!

3 comments:

  1. Oh that's hard. :( I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I was in a similar situation senior year, and it stunk.

    If having time w/ JUST your roomie is hard to come by, could you schedule to go out just the 2 of you for coffee or something?
    I'd probably bring it up by asking if she was considering living w/ her boyfriend, because that's what it feels like to YOU. You deserve to know if you need to find another roomie, etc. If she says no as I'd suspect, I'd use that to open the door and tell her that you respect their choices, but they need to respect yours, too. Part of that is allowing your home to remain a resting place for you, and that with her boyfriend there, it's not that. She may get hurt or upset, but what they're doing is rude.

    I wish I had better advice. Above all I'd just make sure to talk about without him there.

    Good Luck!!

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  2. sorry-that was me(pb). I didn't realize my husband was signed in! oops!

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  3. I agree with Sharon. You need to talk to your roommate in person, just the two of you. Make a date. Repeat all the things you said here. Ask if the bf can help pay some things and if you can write up a contract of rules and divide the chores.

    The point is, YOU feel uncomfortable in your home. Tell her that. You like the guy and want her to be happy, but you want to be happy too!

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