Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Going home

It's so hard for me to come to my parents' house, to this town, for longer than a few days. I was thinking back to the party we had this past weekend, and since none of my friends attended, I hung out with a few random people and my mother's friends (not that there's anything wrong with that, I love them!).

However, alllllllll of my "friends" from high school and college are either engaged or married and most/all are pregnant or have a few children...which is always where I thought I'd be at my age. So, when people arrived at the party, people I only see about once a year, the conversation is forever turning to their child's marriage/ children. Which is fine, but it makes me feel sad, unaccomplished, way behind in life, and a tiny bit bitter. Some of these people didn't even want to GET married or have kids, and yet they are living the life I've dreamed of since I was a child. I try to be happy for them, and most of the time I succeed, especially living in Big City.

But when I come home, it's inevitable that I will run into lots of these people, especially around Christmas. They will tell me all about their life, filled with husbands, children, school plays, toddler get togethers, cute things their kids say or do...

And me? All I have to contribute, yet again, year after year after year, is "No, I'm not dating anyone", "No, there are no prospects", "Yes, it's hard", "No, I don't have any more ideas of how to meet guys", "I'm just working, but thankfully I like my job"...

Sometimes I feel so worthless. I *know* we are not supposed to try and compare our lives with other people's or be jealous. But sometimes, I fail.

1 comment:

  1. You'll get there, when you're meant to! Enjoy the journey. I feel bossy and mean, but... I think you live a wonderful life and have a lot of great things going on!

    Happy Holidays!


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Comments warmly welcomed! :-)