I had my nightly (lately!) talk with my friend/coworker last night. She is the one I'm going on spring break and I told her that I was driving to babysitting and thinking of the Tubthumping song, which repeats this line over and over,
"I get knocked down
but I get up again
You're never going to keep me down"
It's a perfect example of what I've been feeling lately with Jessa and by extension, my boss. I try my best, stay in the classroom literally all day, have the group of kids to myself for a few hours, finally need to take a bathroom break and BAM, there is yelling for me again, which sends my boss running to Jessa to see what happened. Never is the issue blood or broken bones like one would think, but rather spilled milk, some mud on a child's clothes, or a simple disagreement between two young kiddos. It's like every tiny chance she gets, Jessa wants to stomp me down into the ground like a worm.
But I get up again, you're never going to keep me down.
I can do this. I can be strong. I need to accept the hugs and well-meaning advice of my coworkers, something I was not able to do yesterday. In fact, yesterday was SO bad that even my best friend at work was told to "stay away, she's in a really bad mood" which I had to laugh at later, because it was true AND we've had days where we say that about my friend.
So, Jessa will no longer run rampant in my mind as I desperately try to understand why she acts this way. There will be no more rent free living, so to say. I bought a journal over the weekend JUST to pen out my frustrations and try to sort this mess out. When the pen & journal come out, Jessa will undoubtedly be the topic of my mind, but once the pen goes away, there will be no Jessa talk. Hopefully.
You're never going to keep me down.