Monday, May 17, 2010

The Process

Let me start off by saying I know I made the right decision regarding leaving my job. 

However, that does not make it any easier. It's hard. My coworkers are slowly finding out. One of the girls had today off and when she picked her son up after nap, she asked me whatever became of my meeting with my boss last week-- so I had to tell her I'm not coming back. Her face just fell and I almost started crying. She said, "Definitely? For sure? You have to?" and I confirmed it. She's bummed. Everyone who hears is bummed. One girl wrote to me via Facebook (since we can't really talk too much about it at work) and just said, "I'm so sad!"

I'm sad too. Sad, and scared. Sad to leave the girls. Scared, extremely scared, of my future. I know that tears are healing (supposedly) but I don't cry easily. Except lately...all I have to do is think about not seeing my coworkers again, my dark unknown future, and I start crying. :(

Aniya told me on Saturday that her school is hiring. However, the thing about that is I'd have to jump on it NOW, because they will probably hire someone within the next month. I don't have any qualms with working at her school, although I don't really know much about it either. 

I guess where I am at right now is that I want to finish the school year, process that I won't be going back to my school, and then worry about a job. If I end up nannying/babysitting for a year, so be it. I don't know that I want to go into another school setting. I don't know WHAT I want to do. At all. 

Think it's possible to go through the stages of grieving with a job? I think so.

10 comments:

  1. i can tell you with absolute certainty that there can be a grieving process for a job. in my case(s)--leaving my school and being fired from the job i left teaching for--it's been more about the people i left behind than the job itself.

    the last 21 months have been a great adventure though. i haven't held a "steady" job since august of 2008, and while times haven't necessarily been EASY they've been so very, very blessed...and so incredibly GOOD.

    i would never wish some of my situations on you...but i wish you the happiness and blessing that i have found through them :)

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  2. Sounds like you are already making great progress getting through this time. You seem like you are in a good place with this.

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  3. Absolutely there is grieving w/ job change.
    HUGS, Bethany. Making the right decisions are not always easy, and you should be proud of yourself for doing what is in your best interest.
    We're praying for ya!

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  4. I think it is absolutely possible to grieve over a job. Making important life changes is always scary and bound to make you a little emotional. You seem to have a good attitude about it, though. Hang in there.

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  5. Definitely you will be grieving for what was. It's been your life. It's easy to wake up every day and know what's going to happen. Change IS scary. But just cause it's scary, doesn't mean it's bad. Be excited for what's to come!

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  6. take some time to think things over and figure out what you really want. I tend to jump from the frying pan into the fire when I rush decisions...You sound confident in your decision to leave, which was a BIG decision. You are more in control than you realize...

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  7. yep, i know there is grief after leaving a job... i had my perfect job many years ago at a garden center, but the property sold for other use... ugh, took me a loooooong time to get over that.

    take your time and see what God has in store for you... He will show you. and He will help you through the changes coming!

    {hugz} and prayers!

    p.s. thank you for visiting me on my blog, too yeaterday :D

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  8. I was totally in your same exact position when I had to choose to resign from my job as a teacher. I definitely cried alot and mostly because I would miss the friends I made. But luckily they are still my friends =)

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  9. There's a reason that quitting/losing/changing a job is one of the top 10 stressors in life . . . it's stressful! Hang in there.

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  10. I left my job 1.5 years ago and it was so hard (especially now since I still work with them - they are my contractor though). In the end, you have to make the right decision for you, and realize that is what is the most important!

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Comments warmly welcomed! :-)