I babysat up by my (former) school last night. I still haven't been able to drive by the school. It's just too painful, I guess.
On Monday, my (former) school has their annual staff meeting. For the first time in four years, I won't be present. Someone else will take my spot in my classroom. I told my roommate, my (former) coworker, not to replace me. Or forget me. I was half joking...and half not.
The mom that I babysat for last night told me she was concerned about calling me regarding babysitting so close to the new school year, because she knew I was trying to get my classroom ready and was having meetings. I had to tell her I'm not going back. I had to recount, yet again, why that is.
I had a feeling that the whole not-going-back thing was going to hit me much harder at the end of the summer, when my (former) coworkers and students would be heading back to school, without me.
Unfortunately, it seems I was right.
It's really, really hitting me.
I miss them.
I miss it.