Thursday, September 02, 2010

Just Thinking

So, here we are at the beginning of September. When I left my job in May, I thought I’d have something new lined up by now, to be honest.

I am almost positive that it was God’s plan for me to leave the school in the spring…it had to be, right? It was a decision that felt right at still does…but even though I’m not really worried about the whole situation, parts of me at times think, “What if I made a huge mistake?!” There is a tiny shred of doubt as my coworkers begin school next week. I’m excited for them to meet the new kids, to hear about the former kids’ summers.

But still, what if?

- What if I was wrong? (Even with everyone telling me then, and now, that the decision was right?)
- What if I don’t find anything, then what?
- What if I’ve just lost my drive to love another job. Is that why I’m hesitant about accepting any job, school, nannying, or otherwise?
- What if I lose touch with my old coworkers? The summer has been great staying in touch with them, but with school starting? I’m sad for the inevitable break.

So…I’m struggling some today. It’s going to get easier, I know. I’m glad to have plans the night of their first day of school though, I have to admit.

On the upside, I’m babysitting three former students tonight- something I wouldn’t have been able to do if I was still working at the school. I just need to focus on the positive aspects of leaving. Maybe I’ll work on a list and post it later…that might be a good idea!

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Comments warmly welcomed! :-)