Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Relationships

One of my friends posted on Facebook the following quote. She said that it is from a tv show or movie, but I don’t remember which.

“The direction of any relationship always seems to lie in the hands of one person. The one who cares less. What is the other person supposed to do? Move on or sit in wait for the other person to take action?”

She posted it a few days ago, and for some reason I still can’t get it out of my head. One of my former co-teachers came to mind. I haven’t seen her since we finished out the school year. I’ve talked to her on Facebook/texting a couple of times, but that’s it. I’ve tried to call her with no answer, left messages…perhaps not from her perspective, but from mine it’s as if she doesn’t care about me, doesn’t value or care about our friendship as much as I do.

There are other friends that come to mind too. Some I used to talk to every day. There are friends I used to live with in college or even after and now? I don’t even know where they are living, couldn’t have sent them a Christmas card if I wanted.

I suppose there is a reason for the song, “Make new friends, but keep the old. One in silver and the other gold.”

There are friends that we will have all of our lives, usually one or two but maybe more if we are especially blessed. There may be others who you rarely see or talk to, but when you do it’s as if you never left. And then…there are the friends who are in your life for a time, just a season. I think in a lot of ways, these friendships hurt the most, because a lot of times they end with no real reason…just time and space caught up with the day-to-day life mixed with more time until calling or writing doesn’t seem an option anymore. Eventually the friendship dissolves and is just a thing of the past.

It’s sad…but I guess that is how life is…what’s your take on the quote? (If you want to steal it and write a post on your own blog, go for it…just tell me so I can read your thoughts!) Smile

5 comments:

  1. I am totally stealing this quote! It is so completely accurate and ridiculously sad. I am the "other" at this moment in a few relationships.

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  2. Very thought-provoking. I've found it to be true, often, in my own relationships. Out of 2 of us, 1 is always giving more than the offer, trying to schedule more, etc. It also depends on what's going on, too.
    I like to think I'm much better at keeping in touch when I'm not pregnant, etc. At least I hope so. I think all long-term relationships go through waves of this pattern.

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  3. When I read it I thought of it in terms of couples that my husband and I are friends with. One I said would dissolve did and another is on its way like a predicted and it's because one half of the couple doesnt care as much as the other half. And the half that cares, tries to hard and burns themselves out. It is sad to see them waste their time and know what is coming.

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  4. Friendship is a two way street. You can only try so hard to keep in touch with someone, but unless they give some effort back, what's the point in trying. Sure you don't want to lose a friendship, but if you're the only one trying, there was really no great connection there anyways. I've gone through this many times. Of course, it's a double sided blade...I have been the one that doesn't give the effort, too. I think alot of it depends on where you are in your life compared to your friends. I'm one of the only ones in my old group of friends that has kids; the other ones are just now getting married. So difference in timelines can effect it too. I'm just glad that you're one of those friends that I don't have to try too hard with. We both understand that life is busy, but we can always start where we left off...no matter what each of us is going through. It's all about quality, not quantity.

    I've been dubbed "standoff-ish" at work, because the turn around is so bad there, that I feel like what's the point in becoming friends with these people if they're not gonna stay around. I also go to work to um, work, not make friends...it's not a priority of mine. Sure, I'm civil with most everyone there, but I don't share my whole life's story with any of them.

    I think it also depends on how you've been hurt by other friends too. We're a race that needs to be accepted, but once we're wronged, we regress.

    Friendship...it's great, but, phew!, complicated at times :-)

    Love ya friend!

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  5. I totally get this. My son talks to me about this all the time. He's been in 9 weddings...close friends with them all obviously...but their friendship is all but over after the wedding. Makes him very sad. Understandable but not "right".

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Comments warmly welcomed! :-)