I’m not on the hunt for a new job, at least, not yet?
I’ve been going through a rough couple of weeks. I don’t know HOW to decide if I want to nanny for the rest of my life. I’m worn out taking care of other people’s kids in a daily way. Teaching was different, but I’m tired. I’m tired of having to make sure the house is clean by 5 pm, of telling parents that we’re going to the mall/library/etc. and then later, oh we’re back. If I have to take care of children, I’m to a point where I’d like them to be my own. Or not care for children at all. In fact, I’m at a place where I’m not even sure I WANT my own kids…and that’s never been the case before.
So, where does this leave me? It’s not that I don’t love kids. I adore taking care of Bug and seeing some of my old students for random babysitting gigs.
I just don’t know anymore. I’ve been asking around to see what other jobs people could see me having. Among the suggestions:
- flight attendant
- travel blogger/writer (love this, not sure how in the world that would work)
- travel agent
- cruise ship childcare (I love this idea as well, but I’m fairly certain it would mean a move to Florida and I don’t think I want to leave Big City!)
- children’s librarian
- tour director
I’m sure a lot of this stems from changes going on with my friends, as well. A good friend will possibly be moving away again. She moved before, came back, and if she moves I won’t blame her at all. Sometimes I feel like moving to a new city would be good, because it would give me a chance to start over, to leave the school completely behind. I’m holding on to a false hope that I’ll be called and welcomed back to the school next year, and I need to let it go.
Oh, the grieving process…not so fun. And who knew it could last so long just from a job!?